Guide to Managing Anger Effectively

What is Anger?
What Causes Anger?
Identifying Your Anger Triggers
Recognizing Your Body's Anger
Steps to Managing Anger
Get Help

Employees of the MedCentral Behavioral Health Therapy Department developed the following information to help you understand anger and learn ways to work through it. As you read, jot down your thoughts and feelings, or print a copy and write in the margins.

What is Anger?
Anger is a natural and powerful emotion. Anger isn't good or bad, it's what you do with it that makes the difference.

What Causes Anger?

Frustration: You may get angry if you feel things are getting out of control or you fail to reach a goal.
Stress: Daily stressors related to family, work, health concerns or money problems may make you irritable.
Disappointment: When expectations and desires aren't met, anger may result.
Fear: Anger is a natural response when feeling threatened, or to verbal or physical abuse.
Resentment: When you've been hurt, rejected or offended you may feel angry.
Annoyance: Minor irritations and daily hassles may cause anger.

Identifying Your Anger Triggers
I become angry when I:

Feel ignored
Don't do something well
Feel out of control or helpless
Get jealous
Don't get credit for something I've done
Have to follow orders
Think I am treated unfairly

I become angry when people:

Are rude to me
Disagree with me
Are late
Tell me what to do
Lie to me
Insult me
Don't listen to me
Criticize me

I become angry when faced with these situations:

Traffic jams/other drivers
Family arguments
Financial problems
Work conflicts
Losing a game/contest
Child abuse
Mistreatment of animals
Waiting in line
Mistakes
Prejudice

What other triggers come to mind?

Once you have identified your triggers, you can take steps to change the way you respond.

Recognizing Your Body's Anger
An important step in learning to manage your anger is to recognize your warning signs. Think about how you feel when you get angry. Check the physical symptoms that you experience when your anger is escalating.

My warning signs are:

Feeling warm or flushed
Clenched jaw
Tight fists
Muscle aches/tension
Rapid heart rate
Sweaty palms
Upset stomach
Loud voice
Feeling shaky
Crying

If you tune into your physical cues, you will learn to recognize them earlier and respond in a more controlled and effective way.

Steps to Managing Anger

Maintain an anger management journal. When you know what makes you angry, you will be in a much better position to develop strategies to contain it or channel it effectively. Keep track of dates, times, places, triggering events, cues and how you handled the situation.
Get Support. Tell the important people in your life about your anger management goals. They can be a source of help and encouragement.
Use anger management techniques to interrupt the anger cycle:

Pause
Deep breathing
Positive self talk
Exercise

Use empathy. If another person is the source of your anger, try to see the situation from his or her viewpoint. Be objective. Realize that everyone makes mistakes and it is through mistakes that people learn how to improve.
Laugh at yourself. Humor is often the best medicine. Learn to laugh at yourself and not take life so seriously.
Relax. Angry people often let little things bother them. Regularly practicing stress management techniques (meditation, yoga, relaxation techniques) will help you reduce stress and stay calm.
Listen. Miscommunication contributes to frustrating situations. The more you listen to what a person is saying, the better able you will be to find a resolution that does not involve an anger response.
Be assertive. Remember, the word is assertive NOT aggressive. When you are angry it is often difficult to express yourself properly. You may be too caught up in the negative emotion and your physical symptoms to put together appropriate responses. If you learn to assert yourself and let other people know your expectations, boundaries and issues, you may have more interpersonal success.
Develop a hobby. A hobby can be a productive outlet for releasing tension and energy; it can serve as a welcome distraction from angry feelings.
Forgive: The inability to forgive yourself or someone else may be an obstacle to healing and moving beyond your anger.
Live each day as if it is your last. This saying may be overused, but it holds a fundamental truth. Life is short and it is much better spent positively then negatively. Realize that if you spend all your time getting angry, you will miss the many joys and surprises life has to offer.

Get Help
You don't have to face your problems alone. Let others know you need help controlling your anger. Consider contacting:

NAMI Richland County
National Alliance for the Mentally Ill
33 Park Avenue West, Mansfield, OH 44902
419-522-NAMI

Center for Individual & Family Services
741 Scholl Road
Mansfield, OH 44907
419-522-4357

HELPLINE
419-522-4357

National Institute of Mental Health
5600 Fishers Lane, Rockville, MD 20857
1-800-421-4211

Your Health Care Provider

Community Libraries (educational books, tapes and videos)

Clergy, Health Centers

Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs)